The quest to attract your soul mate is a winding path. You might be encountering a mix of heartaches and fleeting romances, often wondering if you are actually destined to find your true love.

However, the secret to attracting the right person might be simpler than you think. Here it is: fall in love with yourself first.

It begins with a journey inward of self-love and self-discovery, to reshape your subconscious beliefs. And you simply cannot jump this step, as this holds the true blueprint of finding the right partner. Read on the inspiring story of how Marie, a very dear client of mine, transformed her love life by first transforming her relationship with herself.

How You Self-Sabotage Your Dating

When I began working with Marie, her story was in a place familiar to many: a cycle of unfulfilling relationships, constantly attracting the wrong type of men and the echoing question “why can’t I find the one?” Beneath this question lay a deeper issue—Marie’s struggle with self-esteem. Like many, she didn’t realize that the root of her romantic challenges was the reflection of her own self-perception.

Marie functioned well, with a good career and a few nice friends, but she felt stuck, she lacked confidence. Above all, she always doubted herself and felt she was not good enough in many aspects of her life. She never believed a compliment, always thought people were being polite. She often compared herself to others and felt inferior.

Now, imagine you are a salesperson and you are trying to sell a product that you believe is not good enough, that is inferior to others in the market. A product that lacks something and you doubt its efficiency all the time. No matter how good a salesperson you are, if you truly believe that, it will come across, right?

You Attract What You Believe You Are

So, how are you going to be able to attract someone who holds the qualities you want in a partner when you don’t believe you match up to it? Your subconscious mind is holding you back in your efforts to attract your soul mate. It is matching you, instead, to the lower quality people it feels you match more accurately.

Here’s a crash course in psychology: you keep telling yourself that you are not good enough, your subconscious mind keeps absorbing it, runs a program of low self-esteem and it will keep positioning you in situations to corroborate that. In a nutshell, this is how your mind works.

And this was Marie’s self-fulfilling prophecy; relationships that mirrored her own insecurities. Childhood experiences had taught her to accept less than she deserved. Her lack of self-love didn’t attract her soul mate. Instead, it attracted partners who perpetuated her low self-esteem. It was a cycle fuelled by her subconscious beliefs about unworthiness.

Until everything changed.

The Foundation of Attracting Your Soul Mate : Love Yourself First

Marie’s breakthrough moment was the realisation that her relationships had reflected her feelings towards herself. We began her journey of transformation through a series of deep dives into her limiting beliefs, her inner child and subconscious programmes. Marie made the decision to let go of all the things that were weighing her down and chose to shift her perspective of herself.

As a result, she started treating herself with kindness and respect, she started to really notice her worth, celebrating herself and feel deserving of all the good things. And very quickly, she noticed a shift in the type of people she attracted. More importantly, she felt good about herself, confident, and came to the realisation that she didn’t actually need anyone. She just wanted someone. Big difference.

The cornerstone of Marie’s transformation, and the first lesson for us all, was the necessity of self-love. And I am not talking about about mere self-care routines; this is about deep, unconditional self-acceptance. High self-esteem acts as a beacon, attracting those who can love us as we deserve.

Marie learned that she was worthy of love—a belief that became her new reality. It can become yours too.  

Setting Intentions: The Power of Manifestation to Attract Your Soul Mate

Marie’s final step was to clearly define what she wanted in a partner. She knew she no longer had to settle and believed she deserved the right person. She wrote down her desires, focusing on how she wanted to feel in a relationship. Setting her intentions on paper was a powerful way to make it happen. Manifest it if you will. Yes, I’m serious. Try it. Take a piece of paper and write down exactly what you want in a partner, with as much detail as you care to give. This becomes your goal. This is the last piece of the puzzle that will help you attract your soul mate. And your subconscious mind and all aspects of you will gear towards making it happen.  

So, what happened to Marie?

She took a pause from dating for a few weeks whilst on her self-development journey. What was interesting is that she almost reluctantly went back on dating apps. She felt so happy and aligned to herself that she felt she didn’t actually need anyone else. She filled that gap of love herself. And this is exactly the place you want to find yourself in.

Immediately, she noticed the difference in the type of men she attracted. Even though she only changed a couple of things on her profile, her vibe must have been completely different. She went on a few dates with very nice men, but it isn’t until 2 months later, at her works’ Christmas party, that she met ‘the one’. Well… ‘met’ is not the right word, as they knew each other already. This man worked for the same company, in the same building, for years, but they had never really noticed each other. My favourite part of this is that it turns out that he had been on a very similar journey of self-love and personal development. Ever since that evening, Marie and her man have been inseparable. They feel loved, heard, respected, appreciated, understood, free, happy. All the things you too can have. I promise you. Starting with yourself.

Your Love Story Begins With You

Marie’s journey shows you the path. Finding your soul mate starts with finding yourself. It’s a journey of breaking free from your chains of limiting beliefs and embracing your worthiness of love.

This is more than just a story; it’s a call to action. Marie’s transformation proves that when you embark on the journey of self-love, you don’t just find love; you attract the kind of love that mirrors the best parts of yourself.

Start your journey today. Believe in your worthiness, set your intentions, and watch as the universe aligns to bring you the love you’ve always deserved. Your soul mate is not just a dream waiting to be found but a reflection of your own love and self-acceptance.

If you would like some help you navigate through this process, please reach out. I am here to help. Book a free consultation with me.